August 26, 2013

Beauty of a moment

I wrote this at 6 'o'clock in the morning when all of it was just over.
I just got back from a party. A big, nice and a bit wild birthday party. It was nice being there but I refused to drink any alcohol while the others were drunk. It felt like there was an invisible wall between me and everybody else. I danced, singed and laughed just as much as everyone did but I just couldn't feel those moments, they were not sincere. The party took place in a summerhouse that's about a half hour ride from the city. That ment I couldn't leave whenever I wanted. That is why when a boy told me that he's driving his car to the city at 5 in the morning I felt very at ease. This was the first time I've met him. He didn't drink alcohol either and it was nice to suddenly have someone to socialize with. Someone who was at my side of the wall. But still we did not talk too much. When 5 came and we got in the car, I felt relieved that I can finally leave. And at that moment something between us changed. It felt good being with him in that car. He remembered when I told him that I like the xx a lot. Without words he inserted a CD to the  record-player and then the sounds of the xx music started. We talked non-stop while driving home. There was none of the uncomfortable silence and somehow both of us talked about very personal stuff without worries or regrets. We were nobodies to one another and that's why we could be only ourselves. I took a glance at the speedometer - he was driving 20 mph slower than the speed limit allowed. But it made me happy, I wanted the ride to take as much time as it could be. I did not want it to end so fast, I forgot that I wanted to get home quickly.
              Not far from the ciy he took a turn that led not straight to my home. It was a big detour but the view there was beautiful. He told me that he wanted to share this place with me right now cause it's he's favourite place to drive by. That was the most magical moment of all. The XX was playing, passing through the window I could see only the magnificent forests and my companion was more than I could ask for. I took a deep deep breath and just enjoyed those moments. 
              It took us an hour to get home when it should have been a 30 minute ride. As we entered the city the dawn was filling the streets and the magic slowly faded away. Nevertheless, I still felt goosebumps on my skin, though the heater was on at full-power. When he drove to my house, I hugged him and said goodbye. I knew that this goodbye might mean forever but it felt like this was the right thing. 
              I can tell more details from that short little hour of my life than about any other day or week. Everything felt deeper, stronger and more real than any other thing that I lately experienced. 

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