Today I turn 20 years old. Can't even believe that I'm alive for such a long time. I'm happy and sad about it at the same time. But I'll try to stay positive and I believe that there's a lot of good things waiting on the road for me. Let the adulthood begin but without forgeting what it feels to be a kid.
"How in the hell am I going to finish everything up on time?!" - The thought that I live with all the time now. There is a week and two days left 'till the holidays and I still have 5 tests and 1 exam to pass, not to mention that I haven't gotten any Christmas presents yet. I hate myself for not doing everything on time and now I need to give up resting, dancing and even sleeping for these two weeks. Of course I could have done everything earlier, when there was still a lot of time left, but that's the thing - when I have a lot of time to do all of my work, I don't do anything at all because, hey, there's still enough time! Stupid me! Somewhere deep inside I knew that this would happen and a little quite voice inside told me to do everything earlier, but, as always, I said that little voice to shut up and did something else. And I hate that I have to hate myself for this. It's not like I didn't do any work earlier - I did a lot of it, I studied every night for a lot of hours untill I felt very tired but I did not work when I felt already tired and I needed to do that. I love medicine, I love everything about it. But the life quality while studying it SUCKS. And the irony is that I put my physical and mental health on the line because maybe one day it will all pay back in other people's health and lifes. It sounds like a noble cause and I think it's totally worth it but it's funny how we need to teach others to be healthy and make sure they're well being is okay when we don't even have an opportunity to live healthy ourselves. I hope hope HOPE that I'll be able to finish everything up on time but when it's all over I'm not going to get out of my bed for a week. And for now, I put up some motivational posters on my walls with hopes that it somehow can keep me determined and will fool my body and head that sleep is overrated.
This post is about a week late but I just couldn't find any time earlier. So again I'm saying better late than never. November was all about: - Partying at MeDi week - it's medstudent's days. Our university has this tradition of celebrating every faculty's week. Medstudent's days were awesome and had a huge closing concert with all the famous musicians and the money gathered from tickets were donated to charity. - Baking only one cake in a whole month! I just didn't have the time. - Studying A LOT. Alone or sometimes with friends. - Discovering some more beauty in my own city. It never ends to surprise me. - Taking a bunch of vitamin pills every morning. When studying this much I still need to maintain healthy which is kind of hard to do. - Watching 'breaking bad'. Finally! And yeah, it's as awesome as everyone said. And also I started a show called 'elementary' which is really interesting too and has a lot of medical terms in it so I feel very satisfied when I understand what the characters are talking about. - Loving my cat of which I somehow didn't take any pictures. That's called self control, people. Everyone is dead tired looking at cat pictures from 50 different angles and it doesn't matter how much I love taking them. - Dancing even more than before. It's the only thing that keeps me alive. - Going to see our city's Christmas tree opening at the last day of November. I didn't take as many pictures as I would have liked to but hey, it's still something that I took these (except the last one - Miglė from meet me on the balcony did it, but I was there, so it still counts). November was okay, not good, not bad, but just okay of a month. There were extremely good and extremely bad days but most of them were just spent studying and checking facebook and that is not what I call a satisfying day. But December is now here and yesterday it snowed the whole day so there's snow everywhere you look and that is sooo beautiful. My group mates started playing 'secret angel' Christmas game (we secretly give little presents to each other every day and no one knows who gave it) so I'm feeling the Christmas mood already. I'm listening to Christmas songs every day and eat a lot of mandarins which smells like Christmas to me. Tommorow I'm going shopping for Christmas decorations with my mom so wish me good deals!
I finally got to open my advent callendar! I can't believe that it's already wintertime.Time really flies this year but I feel excited. The weather was freezing these few last days but there is still no snow on the ground, although today it rained in ice cubes. I feel ready for the snowy cold weather and everything that comes with it. The only thing that concerns me is that when the snow comes everything will be very slippery and I manage to fall down all the time without snow involved. But that aside I adore how beautiful everything looks when it's all white and sparkly, so let it snow!