December 11, 2013

I need a miracle

"How in the hell am I going to finish everything up on time?!" - The thought that I live with all the time now. There is a week and two days left 'till the holidays and I still have 5 tests and 1 exam to pass, not to mention that I haven't gotten any Christmas presents yet. I hate myself for not doing everything on time and now I need to give up resting, dancing and even sleeping for these two weeks. Of course I could have done everything earlier, when there was still a lot of time left, but that's the thing - when I have a lot of time to do all of my work, I don't do anything at all because, hey, there's still enough time! Stupid me! Somewhere deep inside I knew that this would happen and a little quite voice inside told me to do everything earlier, but, as always, I said that little voice to shut up and did something else. And I hate that I have to hate myself for this. It's not like I didn't do any work earlier - I did a lot of it, I studied every night for a lot of hours untill I felt very tired but I did not work when I felt already tired and I needed to do that. I love medicine, I love everything about it. But the life quality while studying it SUCKS. And the irony is that I put my physical and mental health on the line because maybe one day it will all pay back in other people's health and lifes. It sounds like a noble cause and I think it's totally worth it but it's funny how we need to teach others to be healthy and make sure they're well being is okay when we don't even have an opportunity to live healthy ourselves. I hope hope HOPE that I'll be able to finish everything up on time but when it's all over I'm not going to get out of my bed for a week. And for now, I put up some motivational posters on my walls with hopes that it somehow can keep me determined and will fool my body and head that sleep is overrated.
Wish me luck

1 comment:

  1. Sėkmės tau! Tikiuosi mums pavyks ištverti šitą laikotarpį ir suspėsim viską padaryti..