January 2, 2014


Summer festival spirit

For me new year's eve feels like two seperate days. The first day takes the morning and the whole afternoon and then I have my birthday and the second day begins when it's dark and we celebrate the new year's eve. I never actually decided wether I like being born on this crazy day or not. Once I wrote here that being born at this time makes me feel special in some way. And I still believe it somehow does. It's the last day of the year for the whole world and the last day of my year for me.
2013 was the year when I was nineteen. The last year of actually being a teen. There were really good things and awesome experiences. It was the year when I went to four summer festivals. It was the year when for the first time after the times when I was a child I swam in a night lake naked and felt water a lot differently. It was the year when I cried almost everyday without any reason. It was the year when I realised who my best friends are and how I never want to loose them. It was the year when I suddenly understood so many things about life, friendships, love and family and tried to use my knowledge in real life, I failed from time to time but tried to get up again and again. It was the year when sometimes I felt really really old and wise and sometimes I felt so young and stupid.
 There were no tragedies this year and that's a good thing but I felt like I was floating on top of the river that's called life. Everybody was swimming forwards something or trying to swim backwards and I just went where the river took me. Sometimes the river became wild and big waves overhelmed me but I was just floating, not doing anything, not fighting and watching where it gets me. 
 So for new year's resolutions I've only got two things:
1. Stop floating, start swimming. 
2. Be a better swimmer.
It's all very metaphorical and all but it just means to do more things and be better at doing them. It doesn't matter if I decide to teach myself how to play the guitar again or to go on huge hikes, I just need to start swimming somewhere.

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